“Just because you’re parents, doesn’t mean you have to be lame.” AKA “Just because you’re born this way, you shouldn’t stay this way”

It’s not your fault kid, you can’t help it if your asshole parents want to make you into a cash cow and be the next Justin Beaver. Or the fact that the money hungry ADmen who thought it would be cute to make you into a miniature hipster asshole. I mean come on do you really believe hard working people, working 2 jobs to put food on the table -facing job-loss/recession want a little blond snot nose kid telling them that they are not cool enough if they don’t drive this Toyota Highlander? It’s not your fault that you where born with deliriously beautiful curly blond hair and are at an age where your body length and size is desired by cougars like Calista Flockhart and Demi Moore. But it’s your super delivery that scares me more so than your parents or the Madmen, it’s your cunning acting abilities as a child star that makes me want to yell at my nice flat-screen. Could you have been more annoying in your face, “you want to be me but your not” guy? It’s not to late, just because your parents made you this way, doesn’t mean you have to keep acting like an ass, there is hope for you yet, I mean people will still care bout you till you turn 18, then they’ll just lose interest.

*** okay, okay I retract some of my asshole statements, the kid is cute and really the problem is with Toyota by making this nonsense ad. Kid if you are reading this now you’re not half bad and who knows maybe your be the next Brad Pitt, well maybe the next Keanu Reeves.

more on this…




  1. Wow, I totally agree with you. I hate these commercials and I pray to God that when I have kids, all the ad guys that come up with bullshit like this are dead. Or at least have some sort of stroke that makes it so these ideas can’t come out of their face holes.

  2. You know the secret of that kids’ beautiful hair? He wash them in my diarrhea.

  3. Oh my god! How did I not know about this website. Now it’s like I’m sitting drinking some beers with you and listening to your angry Korean ways. I love it and it makes me so excited to see you in December.

  4. Right on! Toyota is lame for mis-using this kid and for teaching rotten values. Sign the petition at my site, let’s drive Toyota off the television! Please keep the heat on these idiots!

  5. If we’ve reached a point in our country where parents base major choices like car purchases on the opinion of their 10 year olds, I think this is an argument for compulsory sterilization. I think any kid who gives a shit about blue-tooth streaming audio is pretty goddamn lame.

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